Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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