Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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