i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
