In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
