do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
