Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
