Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
