Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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