he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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