its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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