omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
