...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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