Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
