dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm at about main and main street
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
