I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
