And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
two words...techno handjob
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
