what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
