Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
