i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Randomize