Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
