do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
