wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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