Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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