i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
