Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
