my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
