she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
