The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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