I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
