Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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