how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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