I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
