shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
