there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Randomize
