yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
