I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
