I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
