nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
