she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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