we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
