I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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