I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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