I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
As shirtless as possible
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
