Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
