Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
