Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
