another moral hangover. fuck.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Randomize
