He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
