I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So vagazzling was a success
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
