I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
