I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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