she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
